What Comes After Cremation?
When Kelley’s father passed away, she was left with a bittersweet challenge. He always wished to be cremated but never expressed what legacy he wanted to leave behind and how he wanted his ashes to be laid to rest.
The traditional idea of burial never resonated with her or her father. “I knew for years that my dad wanted to be cremated, but he never told me what he wanted us to do with his ashes. He didn’t like the idea of an open casket. He had his opinions about it, and I learned I did too,” shares Kelley.
“I knew for years that my dad wanted to be cremated, but he never told me what he wanted us to do with his ashes.” -Kelley J., Yosemite Gateway Memorial Forest, California
Find the Perfect Place
Kelley struggled with what to do with her father’s ashes. Then she started to think about what she wanted for herself, knowing that she’d been to too many funerals where people weren’t prepared. “I think it’s a little naive to be unprepared, because it is inevitable,” shares Kelley. “I’d rather be prepared and make it easier for my two boys.”
She wondered: would her ashes just be sitting on the mantle too when she passed? “I wanted to find a place where we could all put our ashes,” explains Kelley, adding “and it’s not a headstone, it’s a living, breathing thing.” Her desire for a living memorial got Kelley to wonder about the possibility of a Memorial Tree for her father’s ashes—a place where he could live on.
“I wanted to find a place where we could all put our ashes—not a headstone, a living, breathing thing.” -Kelley J., Yosemite Gateway Memorial Forest, California
Peace of Mind
After a Google search Kelley discovered Better Place Forests and immediately called and made an appointment for an in-forest visit with a Forest Guide. Selecting a tree was nostalgic for Kelley who chose a Keepsake Incense Cedar with rights to spread ashes for her father and herself when the time comes.
Kelley reflects on why that tree held so much meaning to her. “I started to cut Christmas trees down when my kids were little. The first time I cut one down with them, I was going through a divorce, and my dad was like, ‘I’ll go with you!’ The tree we picked out, and every tree since then, have been an Incense Cedar.”
Learning that Better Place Forests Yosemite Gateway had once been a Christmas tree farm felt like a sign. “I found relief in finding a place for my father’s ashes,” shares Kelley who felt like the Incense Cedar tree was more than a memorial but a meaningful connection to memories and family moments full of love and joy.
“I found relief in finding a place for my father’s ashes.” -Kelley J., Yosemite Gateway Memorial Forest, California
The Forest Memorial
Kelley held a simple yet meaningful Forest Memorial for her father alongside her two boys. “At first the boys were weary about opening up the urn, but they got into mixing and pouring the ashes— they liked having control and being part of the ceremony,” shares Kelley. She adds “The Forest Team was very supportive and encouraged us to go at our own pace and do what felt comfortable. I loved that they asked what readings we wanted.”
“At first the boys were weary about opening up the urn, but they got into mixing and pouring the ashes—they liked having control and being part of the ceremony.” -Kelley J., Yosemite Gateway Memorial Forest, California
The Gift of a Lifetime
Kelley’s father was big on legacy and helping other people. It was important to him to leave a mark on the world. With that in mind, Kelley chose a Maya Angelou quote for his Memorial Marker that reads, Your legacy is every life you have ever touched. The quote embodied his spirit beautifully.
Choosing this special tree was not only important to Kelley, but it was a gift to her boys so they’ll always have a place to visit that grows and changes with them. And it’s not a headstone; it’s a living and breathing thing. The family continues to honor their Paw Paw’s memory by visiting his tree and will be adorning his tree with a biodegradable ornament before the holiday.
