An Important Conversation

It all started when Kelly’s mother Cathy experienced a health scare towards the end of her senior year in college. Thankfully the emergency surgery went well, but the incident prompted her mother to get her end-of-life plans in place.

That summer, Kelly returned home to find that her mother had printed out her will, and was ready to discuss it with her. While initially uneasy at the thought of her mother’s passing, Kelly soon realized the comfort that came with discussing and understanding her mother’s wishes.

“If anything were to happen to my mom, I know I will be fulfilling her wishes—that brings me comfort.” -Kelly J., Better Place Forests Point Arena, California 

Making Plans with Mom

Kelly knew in her heart that planning ahead was a good idea based on personal experience. Her father passed away when she was in high school, and as an only child, now it was just Kelly and her mom Cathy. At first thinking about her mom passing made her uneasy, but then she realized that she liked knowing exactly what her mom wanted and where she kept important end-of-life documents.

“It was funny,” recalls Kelly, “I’d come home and my mom would quiz me. She’d be like, ‘Okay, where is the key to the lockbox?’ and I knew exactly where she kept it, so I would have to go get it and unlock the lockbox. The first time she did it, I laughed and rolled my eyes. But, I now know, those things are very important. Especially if you are even just a little emotional, it can cloud your memory.”

“Ask your parents what they want when they pass; get the conversation going if they haven’t started it with you.” -Kelly J., Better Place Forests Point Arena, California 

Making Plans for Yourself

The experience of planning ahead for her mother inspired Kelly to make plans for herself. Having grown up in a family that cherished nature, she found peace in the idea of being spread in Better Place Forests, a protected memorial forest. “You never know what day will be your last,” explains Kelly. “It can be scary to think about, but knowing I can be spread in a beautiful protected forest—that’s what it’s about!”

Another reason Kelly chose Better Place Forests is that she can’t visit her father’s resting place—who was spread on the edge of a beautiful lookout that reminded her of him—because they don’t own the land. “This not only made me realize how important it is to have a place to visit your loved ones,” explains Kelly “but it also taught me how important it is to have a plan in place, no matter if you’re healthy or sick, young or old.”

“It’s important to have a plan in place, no matter if you’re healthy or sick, young or old.” -Kelly J., Better Place Forests Point Arena, California 

Kelly’s Tree

Kelly chose a Redwood Tree in Better Place Forests Point Arena for her own resting place. It had a little natural stump bench next to it and a large old-growth stump behind it. She liked the way the light hit it. “Choosing my tree brought me relief. I knew I made a step in the right direction for my end-of-life planning,” shares Kelly.

“You never know what day will be your last. It can be scary to think about, but knowing I will be spread in a beautiful protected forest—that’s what it’s about!” -Kelly J., Better Place Forests Point Arena, California

Kelly’s Advice

Reflecting on her experience, she offers heartfelt advice to others facing similar challenges. For parents, she encourages them not to delay planning, as having a plan is a gift to their children, easing their burdens during difficult times. “I like that I know exactly what she wants. If anything were to happen to my mom,” shares Kelly, “I know I will be fulfilling her wishes. So that brings me comfort.” 

To adult children, she emphasizes the importance of initiating these conversations with their parents, as it can strengthen bonds and reduce the discomfort surrounding end-of-life planning.

“Ask your parents what they want when they pass, get the conversation going if they haven’t started it with you,” she says. “This is an opportunity to grow closer to your parents. Maybe it doesn’t happen immediately, but the more we break down the stigma of end-of-life planning, the easier these conversations and events will be.”

Peace of Planning

In the end, both Kelly and her mother Cathy gained peace from the end-of-life planning process. Knowing her mother’s wishes provides a sense of security, especially after experiencing the loss of her father without preparation. This planning allows them to focus on living and appreciate every moment they share together.

For Kelly, choosing a Memorial Tree in Better Place Forest Point Arena symbolizes taking that step in the right direction, ensuring a beautiful resting place for herself.